Under a Blood Red Sky [031]
Stuck in my head: "New Year's Day"
U2
War
I picked up a Laguna Ocean bass similar to the bass Nicole used to play... except mine has five strings. Why do so many bassists fear the low B?
The bass was an online acquisition, and was located just off Harry Hines in Dallas, close to the hotel where mom and I were staying when we went to the Dallas Stars victory game against the chicago blackhawks. Nicole, a blackhawks fan, would be devastated.
We're not friends anymore, and haven't been for about five years. I don't understand quite why and I don't honestly care at this point. Me from five years ago would probably have put in work to try and figure it out with someone who was sorely disinterested, and I have had a tendency to put in entirely too much effort with my women friends; with almost five years of therapy, I can confidently state that adults talk about their problems, and short of mutual desire to move forward, boundaries must be set. I treasure the memories of the brief tenure of our friendship but you don't get to act the fool, not explain why, and then keep being fucking weird to everyone in your path. I treasure my stability more than your melodrama, any fucking time, any fucking day... and this goes for everyone. No exceptions.
Those who are in my orbit and I in theirs that do the work... you already know how much I love you, and the lengths I'll go for you.
"... to whatever end..."
The bass arrived and was well-packaged. It's nothing outstanding, but I like owning cool gear that reminds me of old friends long gone*. I started fiddling with it and noticed that the Hipshot tuners were slipping, so I opened my small-tool kit and lo and behold... the damn hex bolts for adjusting the key tension strip out.
Cheap pop metal... and by "pop metal", I mean it's likely made from recycled materials like aluminum cans. Essentially, we use certain metals, recycle them, sell the recycling to another country, they melt it, re-purpose it into dumb stuff like hex bolts for adjusting bass guitar tuning keys, and sell it back to us. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Now, it's also important to discern the difference between Brand™ and Brand-licensed™, and not just for guitars, but all consumer goods. Fender is really honest about this sort of thing, and even though it can be frustrating, at least their consumer contact department doesn't talk shit when they know they don't have what you need, anything from parts to wiring schematics.
Hipshot, however, were less than principled.
I perused their web site looking for parts. People seem to really love them (same with Bareknuckle Pickups, I don't get it), so perhaps they make great products and provide great service, right? I couldn't find any small pieces online, so I figured I'd drop them an email and ask if they had anything available:
Hello!
Last night I received a shipment from an eBay victory, a Laguna Ocean TB75 five-string bass (I got a smokin' deal on it). Once I got home from the pick-up point and opened everything up, I started to inspect it and noticed that the tuning machine heads were a little loose. I went to tighten them, but the little bolts on all of the machines were stripped out.
That helps explain the smokin' deal, huh?
Turns out they're Hipshot Licensed. I looked on the Hipshot website and through Reverb/eBay for parts and I couldn't find anything that small. Would I be able to purchase a set of five of these little bolts from you, along with five of the securement screws? I'm happy to pay for the pieces and for shipping.
Now I know that "Licensed" can mean any number of things depending on the organization. Fender, for example, states that they haven't got access to anything made outside of Corona or Enseñada; if these little parts aren't something that's available to you, I'll understand.
Thanks for reading. Pics attached for reference.
Happy New Year!
Thanks for reaching out!
I once bought a 90's Music Man with Piezo pickup for less than $1K and the only issue was a missing battery compartment (they guy used duct tape to retain the battery) and the nut cracked under the E string. One man's ignorance is another man's gain!
So those tuners are a few generations back and I can't guarantee the current tension screw and washers will fit.
If you would consider getting a new set, they are the :Licensed Ultralite 3/8" tuners: [LINK REMOVED]
You will need 3 bass side and 2 treble side, and the black key on satin chrome was a custom batch for Laguna/Cort basses and nto [sic] available through our shop.
So you fuckers want me to purchase a whole new set of tuning machines instead of either admit that those are licensed made-in-Korea parts or just admit that you don't have access to them? WELL, FUCK YOU. Nah, son, we ain't doin' that. I got a car. I know where the fucking hardware store is. I got a set of digital calipers. WE'RE DOING THIS.
It took going to a couple of shops nearby to source everything, and I took the opportunity to pick up additional pieces that I would need: all five of the control knobs each had three rubber o-rings that were worn out (fifteen rings) and someone in this bass's previous life broke the head off of one of the bridge screws. In total:
Rubber O-rings at one location, 19mm OD, 2mm width: 7 @ $0.63 = $4.41
Rubber O-rings at second location, 19mm OD, 2mm width: 8 @ $0.47 = $3.76
Stainless steel button head socket cap, M3x10mm: 5 @ $0.53 = $2.65
Stainless steel sheet metal screws, 8x1.25", packet of 10: $2.79
plus applicable sales tax at 10.2%, and the GRAND TOTAL: $15.00 even.
You are well-regarded, Hipshot, but your response was pretty tacky. I sourced stainless steel parts that will last a lot longer than any replacement OEM parts and spent 12.5% of the projected cost of new tuning machines. Suffice it to say that I won't be doing business with you again for the foreseeable future.
-CST.
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